Dear Art Directors,

I’d love to commend you on your work for the Easy Expression Hands Free Breast Pump Halter. What’s not to love about these ads? It made me want to run out and accessorize right away!

I love the classy Lifetouch student portrait backdrop, as well as the tousled mat upon which she gingerly rests her side saddle pose. I have decided to move my home office to a dirty bed sheet now on the floor. Productivity has skyrocketed!

I never knew I could read a newspaper, journal, and talk on my old Nokia cell phone all while being milked! This truly is an innovation – the potential of which would have never been realized until this photo was taken.

Not everyone, I realize, is privileged to work from home. Luckily, you’ve shown us that we can pump in a conference room without any worries as well! Unlocked door? No problem! I see I can just turn my swivel chair and continue along, hands-free and undisturbed on my cordless phone.

You’ve also reminded me to purchase a scented candle for my office, which I also appreciate.
Again, on behalf of any of us who have nursed our children and needed to multi-task, I thank you for showing us how to make pumping as easy as making photocopies! Maybe I can do that also, while wearing my breast pump around the office. You’ve really shown us limitless possibilities and for that, Art Directors, I thank you.